Blog Posts

Learning From Coaches

12/28/2018

Recently, I wrote to a variety of coaches in Oklahoma and asked if they would be willing to share their advice for early career coaches as part of a textbook I'm writing. I was very grateful for how many responded and what they wrote. I've compiled them (I'm still getting emails) in a list here, which I hope you will find useful. They have lots of great advice!

Be versatile. It’s fine to have an area of “expertise”, but know it all or be willing to learn it to make yourself more valuable to the staff/team. Be loyal! Loyalty to the coach/administrator that hired you is essential to move up in the coaching profession. Learn how to communicate. It doesn’t matter how much you know about a sport or a position if you can’t communicate it to your players. Show up early… leave late! Establish a work ethic. Build relationships with staff and players. Be unselfish…always put the team needs ahead of your personal goals/needs. Be a lifelong learner. Always be willing to learn or expand your knowledge of the game. Always leave a job/program in better shape than when you took the job.

Regardless of what you think you see or believe, remember that your athlete is someone's child. They are their #1 asset, keep that in mind. Use your education, not your emotion when making decisions or reacting to an incident.
Know your players. First, get to know their names. Then, get to know their skills and weaknesses as players. This is second only because it is much easier to do and happens pretty quickly usually. Lastly, and most importantly, get to know them as people. Get to know their families and their stories. Get to know their life goals and dreams inside and outside of your sport. Having one-on-one pre and post-season meetings with players to discuss goals, strengths, and weaknesses helps to forge these relationships. “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” ~Theodore Roosevelt
Always have a practice plan. Don't just show up and play it by ear. Always have them doing something. Athletes get bored if they’re at a practice where they are standing around. Be prepared! They know if you care and have put in the work for them. Be early. Early = on time. On Time= late. Have high expectations. Expect them to be at practice, go hard, and have fun!

Overall, my biggest piece of advice is that coaches have to be the example they want to see and know each athlete as a person. Only then can a coach motivate, discipline, and lead a player/person. Every coach has his/her standard they want to meet, but there is no "standard" way to get there. Meaning, you cannot have blanket disciplinary protocol and expect to get the best out of each athlete. It's very difficult to do, but you reach your standard by investing into each and every player every day. Especially in millennials, if a coach does not convince the athletes that they are valued and loved and cared about on a personal level, they will not perform at a high level. I'd also advise you to read books relevant to coaching.
If you spend all your time dealing with the "Turkeys" you will never be able to teach your "Eagles" to fly." I was given this advice early in my career. Early in your coaching career it can be very aggravating to have players who just won't get with the program. But truly, time spent on them only takes away from what you can do for the other (teachable) players.
The biggest thing I believe young coaches need to understand is that High School athletes will size you up on day 1. They will either see you as someone they can run over or as someone to look up to. They must respect you as a Coach, but you also must respect them as an athlete. If you work hard and led by example with a work ethic that you expect out of them then they will follow. If you are not organized, late, and not educated on what you are teaching, then expect the same from your athletes. You are their leader not their buddy.
Never say you’ll never do something. Make a contract for your players and their parents of what is expected of them. Establish an evaluation system of your players (things they do well and things they need improvement on). Establish a system with players/parents so that you have an awareness of any outside training in the sport you are coaching to avoid conflict or injury.
The best thing I have learned over the years is “they don’t care what you know until they know that you care.” Get to know them!
Chemistry and team cohesion are more important than strategy. I have and use both for strategy and philosophy: I have borrowed from other coaches/leaders. Keep learning (be a learner) and adapt to your situation and team. If you are truly competitive, you will adjust and adapt to the situations that present themselves to you. Compete and have fun!
One of the things that I have come to find that works best for the athlete as well as the parents (and this is absolutely no secret to coaches), but that an athlete needs to understand that they are never entitled to a spot on the team. However, hard work, dedication, and their coach-ability will secure their spot! Also, as far as team sports, athletes need to realize that their effort that they put into the sport affects every team member, therefore it's important to always give 100% effort.
I think some of the best advice I was given early in my career still holds true for young/inexperienced coaches…Observe with your eyes and ears what success really looks like and sounds like. This profession is a true calling!
I have wished for a long time that there was more literature available on coaching theory and practice, especially at the high school level. It would have been helpful when I started out! My first piece of advice for rookie coaches is to make sure you have a plan, but do not bullishly stick to it if it doesn’t seem to fit your conditions, the team you’re coaching, the school facilities, the school/community culture, or not to mention even the first day of implementation! Secondly, as a first time coach, only compare yourself and your plan to other athletic programs in the light of seeking improvement. In other words, realize that the leader of that other team started off probably in a similar way of trial and error. See their current success as a process of hard work and watchful transformation and determination, that you can do the same thing with the same tenacity and likely achieve the same end.
I don’t think the mental (psychological) side of coaching is something a lot of coaches understand or possibly don’t think much about. To me, this is as crucial as teaching X's & O's. In today's athletes, there is a severe lack of coping and problem solving abilities. The "entitlement" mentality comes from athletes thinking that they are "owed" something "just because", and they haven't been taught that having comes with doing. Being able to solve problems in intense, pressure-filled situations, is something that has not emphasized enough, and that (teaching) situation needs to learned on the practice field, on the court, in the gym, or where-ever else coaching takes place.
Don’t tell everyone how great your team is before you have even played a game. Your summer league record doesn’t matter. If you’re getting beat bad, do not start pressing when the other coach pulls out his/her starters. Don’t see how bad you can beat someone. Eventually it will come back around. If someone wants to trade or get film cooperate. They are going get it anyway and you might need their help sometime. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from other coaches. Always work with your newspaper or radio guy. They have jobs to do also. No one really cares if you were a great player in HS or College. It doesn’t matter at this point.
My first wish for every new coach, more important than any coaching method, is that they understand that loyalty is the most important part of the process. When you are given a job you are placing yourself under the authority of a Head Coach or an administration. If you cannot be loyal, it is a must that you find another place to work. A breakdown in loyalty will eventually poison a staff and a team from the inside out. If you cannot work under the people the hired you, move on. Secondly, if your goal as a coach is to advance in the profession, treat every task that you are given with the utmost attention to detail. If a new coach is not diligent in the minor tasks that they are given, there is absolutely no way that they will be given a larger task. As coaches it is important to remember that no matter what our intent may be, there is a scoreboard and we are ultimately judged by results. We must be diligent with the smallest task and all of those together give us a chance to be successful in the end. Thirdly, understand that in most instances you coaching stipend will not adequately reflect the amount of time and energy that you will spend on your sport. It is truly something that requires a “Love of the Game”. Do not get started in coaching with the aspiration of becoming “Rich”. Our profession will only flourish if it is filled with people that love working with athletes and people that have a passion for our sport. It is a constant learning experience.
Remember that, just like life, there are many ups and downs within coaching. There are good days and there are bad days, but coaches must always find the good in every practice, every game, and every season. Athletes thrive on the outlook and attitude of their coach so whether it is a good day or a bad day, a coach must make sure that there is something good in every day.
Go in with an open mind and a willingness to learn and absorb all that you can. Also, ask lots of questions and take notes. A lot of young/inexperienced coaches are afraid to ask questions or give input, but it is important to immerse yourself in what is going on and be as involved as possible. The more experience you can gain, the better you will be down the road when it is time to run your own program.
Stay on track with your personal philosophy regarding players and the game. Make sure that you do not pick and choose on punishments based on the athletic ability of the player. If you have set a precedent in the past stick to it.
Find an experienced and successful coach to be your mentor. Talk to them often. Ask for advice. Don’t be afraid to steal at least portions of their systems and/or plays. They have been successful for a reason. There is no need to re-invent the wheel.
Always do what is right. Sounds easy but people will want you to compromise to win. If you do what is right, people will follow the line. Here’s another way to put it; expect athletes to do what is right and be the example even if it cost you games early.
Two things that are a must as a head coach of any program are Discipline and Accountability! Without these two ingredients, no program will be successful for a sustained time. The other thing that I would like to see addressed with young coaches is paying dues and knowing your role! In my seven years as a head coach, I have had to hire at least one assistant each year. Most of the young coaches are wanting to be a Coordinator right now. Understand 90% of these coaches are not ready for that role. The other thing young assistants need to learn is, there is more to coaching than X's and O's! When people ask me what I coach, I tell them kids! That has been the reason for my success. I can x and o with anyone, but so can 99% of the coaches in the business. The real key is knowing your players inside and out; all of them, and not just the stars. I tell our athletes all the time we are only as good as the effort of the weakest player on the field. That is true. Young coaches should also learn the little things outside of the sport matter. For example, laundry has to be done, floors need swept, equipment needs to be put up, etc. The newer the coach, the more of these things should be done by that coach. I try to let my young coaches see me do these things as often as possible to show no job is below any of us.
First, ask a lot of questions and try to help out with paperwork. If your eventual goal is to be a head coach, the more paperwork you do such as scheduling, travel itineraries, basic logistical stuff always helps. I was only an assistant for one year and I wish I had spent some time with the paperwork aspect of it. So when I got my head coaching job I would not have been so overwhelmed. Second, ask a lot of questions to coaches within the same sport as you as well different coaches. It helps you figure out what you need to do differently and what other coaches are doing. It gets you on the same page with coaches at your school as well as just gives you a base to build from. Third, read books and attend clinics as much as you can. I found that to be some of the best things I have done as a young coach. With that being said, do not just read coaching books that deal with your sport. Read books from coaches in other sports. There are a lot of great coaches out there with great books that can help you out tremendously, and you can take and borrow from that as much as possible. The more you are willing to learn throughout your coaching career the better you will be. Much like you tell your athletes to keep working and improving, you have to be willing to do that as well.
Do what you believe to be the right thing to do, because you are the one that has to sleep with it that night. When making those decisions, if you do what is right by the athlete, and make the decision that gives the athletes and the team the best chance to win, then you don't have much to worry about. Remember why you started. Get a hobby unrelated to coaching.
Focus more on coaching effort and mental conditioning and health; winning will then take care of itself.
My advice to a coach just getting started would be to get out and attend practices of coaches at/or around the level you are wanting to coach. I would attend as many practices as I possibly could. See how different coaches are doing things; with styles like yours and with styles completely different from yours; successful programs and programs that haven’t been very successful; coaches who have been in the business a long time and that are just getting started. This will help you begin to network and networking is key in coaching. You will see different ways of doing things and realize that there may be a better way to do something than your current way of thinking. It will help you appreciate the profession and understand what goes into it on a daily basis. You can use the time after practice to speak with the coach and ask questions about planning and using your time to the best of your ability. You can see the different types of athletes you might have the opportunity to coach and the different styles used to coach different athletes and how they respond to that coaching. You realize that the game is so much more than X’s and O’s. It’s more about the relationship you are building with your players that gets you to achieve success. I believe that can really be seen in practice.
I wish I would’ve had access to this book over 20 years ago! Coaching is all about management; players, parents, and situations. Have clear and concise standards for your team and parents. Do not begin any season without laying these standards out. Do not have a standard that you would not give a consequence for if not met. Never say anything that you are not willing to follow through on. Athletes and parents will constantly test you on this. Seek out advice from coaches that you respect on setting your team standards. Be yourself. Athletes are smart and can see that you are trying to be something that you are not. However, do not let players think that you are on the same level as them. Command respect. You do not need a teenager as a friend. Be a mentor and a role model. Do not let them call you by a nickname other than “coach”. Do not befriend athletes or parents on social media under your personal name; only your team page. Avoid personal text conversations. Communicate through remind app and more importantly through direct conversation. Trust this advice. You will find yourself in situations and conversations you do not want to be in.
I highly recommend being an assistant for a minimum of 2-3 years before becoming a head coach. There’s so much more to learn about being a coach than the “x’s & o’s” of the sport. Keep your relationship with players at a mentor level. Kids (athletes) will try to treat a young coach like a friend, it’s our job to draw the line. We are there to guide, support and be there for them, but as an adult that cares, not as a friend.
Pay close attention to those that have years of coaching experience. Constantly take notes and asked tons of questions, even if it makes you look incompetent at times, as it will pay dividends later in your coaching career. Pay attention and learn from as many people as possible. Be a sponge at all times. Absorb as much knowledge as possible and more importantly, never stop being a sponge.
The main thing is never get to high and never get to low. Never take anything out on an athlete because of their parents. Earn an athlete’s respect. If you don’t demand it, they will do whatever you ask of them!
Make sure you stick with fundamentals in your teachings. So many new coaches are watching YouTube videos, which isn’t bad. But they are trying to implement drills that some athletes can’t even do. For example, let’s teach proper footwork on layups before we teach the Euro step. Let’s teach using the glass for certain shots before we teach the floater.
An old coach once told me "fair and equal are two different things, what's fair isn't always equal," and "In the coaching business there are two kinds of coaches; those that have been fired, and those that will be fired. Don't take it personal."
My advice would be to focus on relationships with the athletes twice as much as the X's and O's. This makes the losses more bearable, and the wins even greater. It also allows coaches to hold players accountable, and with the trust, not only do players want to win, they also begin investing in something greater than themselves. Winning will always cure all, but it is the mentality, mindset and work ethic that is learned that each player takes with them long after they play their last game.
Make an honest effort in getting to know other coaches, especially those that are veterans and have been around awhile. Most coaches will be open to you and give advice, ideas, etc. It will also help you to network and be more involved in your profession. Some of the best tips, advice, scouting reports, and practice procedures came from veteran coaches. Don't be scared or embarrassed to ask for some help.
First, coaching goes far beyond just X’s and O’s. The many hats worn are but not limited to: Mentor, Counselor, Psychologist, Friend, and Life Coach. During the course of a season your players will spend more time with the team than their own families. That’s really important to understand as a coach. During this time you will be developing trust and respect. Study and learn from the best. If your players don’t come to respect and trust that you’re confident and competent in your coaching ability, it’ll make for a frustrating beginning.
Be consistent with your decisions regarding your team or squad. The decision usually isn’t the best for one member but best decision for the entire squad or team!
Don't be afraid to admit you were wrong. It actually makes your players respect you more. Be open-minded enough to listen to all ideas you hear. The ones you disagree with the most actually make you look at the game differently. Remember no player goes out there to mess up on purpose. Never stop learning the game. It is always changing you need to keep up. Don't ask your players to do something you aren't willing to do. A confused player is a bad player. Find ways to simplify the game.
Make sure that everything you do is with the athlete’s best interest. Be here for them, not for yourself, and teach them to be a better person. How I judge my program is not by wins and losses, but judged on how successful my players end up 5-10 years from now. Are they good spouses, parents, friends, workers, and so on?
Find an older coach and use him/her as your mentor. Someone you can bounce ideas off of from time to time; someone who can help you through the rough times. You can't be good at everything so pick out 3-5 parts. When making out your written practice plan (make sure the athletes can see what they are going to do for that practice session), always include the 3-5 parts of the game that you want as your team's identity. Team identity can change from year to year based off your athlete's talent level.
Make sure you stay with your players until they are all picked up. Coaches cannot leave until everyone is gone. Always be in the locker room before and after practice so nothing crazy happens. This is a good time to get them excited about practice, and after practice gives you extra time to get to know your players. This is a great way to make sure hazing is not happening in program. Always remember when a parent wants to meet that they are representing their kid who means everything in the world to them. Always say something kind about the kid. Sometimes in these meetings parents hear what they do not want to hear, but it is easier to handle if they know the coach really cares about kid. Love your players! Also make sure all toilets are flushed and doors are locked when you leave every night.
As a coach, you get to deal with every situation; everything comes through your door. You deal with the athletes, parents, administration, media, association and public. I always have a set of rules not only for my athletes but for the parents also. I always meet with my parents before the season starts so we can be on the same page. I always tell my athletes that they should listen with their eyes when I am talking to them. You as a coach may be the only discipline these kids get. A lot of people will say that kids have changed over the years, but I feel that they haven't. The parents have changed. I feel that parents want to be their friends instead of being a parent. This makes it hard on any coach when you can’t get support from the parents. Be honest, love the game, and never, ever think you know it all.
Don’t make rules that will not be enforced, or are foolishly enforced. For example, if you get a technical you will sit the rest of the game. Some technicals are not behavioral issued. If you win every junior high game, parents will think they are supposed to win every highs school game when they are in high school. It might be a good idea to schedule a couple of very tough games for a really good junior high team so parent over-expectations don’t bite you in the butt later. Don’t yell out to players to “Be smart!” It may be too late for that. People are generally smart, have average intelligence, or are dumb. Maybe instead, yell out “Play smart!” Even dumb people can fake it. If you have an assistant, find a way to give them some ownership in the program. Make sure your players listen with their Eyes and Ears. Players will mimic a coach’s behavior, so lay off the officials and don’t act like an idiot. Always take both home and away uniforms to tournaments. Try not to refer to great winning teams that you once have had, but rather the great team you will have with your current team. If you are diagramming offensive plays for your team on the dry erase board, make sure that they defensive symbols are small because if you make them large, players make look at it and think, “How the heck we going to score against that?”
Are you willing to work your butt off? Are you prepared for late nights away from home? 14 hour days? Teach all day, coach half the night? Paperwork that comes with coaching? Many have grandeur ideas about the coaching world because of what they see on TV. Most people don't see the late nights of watching video, filling out paperwork, taking care of the tournament you are hosting, getting next year's schedule ready, coaching freshman along with HS, being gone four, sometimes five nights a week. Is your family prepared for your coaching world? Are your spouse's friends, really friends, or just trying to get close to you through them? This is the toughest to deal with. Sometimes when things don't go well, it is not just taken out on the coach, but the family as well. The spouse didn't make a single coaching decision, but they sometimes take the brunt of "the talk". Not fair, not right, but it happens.
Coach them all but don't play them all. Any kid that sticks with you through the ups, downs, tears, laughs, joys, and sorrows of a season deserves to be coached. That doesn't mean that they all get to play. You play who deserves to be out there. It cannot be based on their parent’s bank account or their last name. It has to be the group that gives the "team" the best chance to compete.
Don't ever be in the coaches' office (or the classroom or anywhere) alone with the opposite sex (or the classroom)! If I knew how to make that stand out more, I would. If you have to talk with them, make sure there are people around close. Do not get yourself in a situation that will end your career. For some, if you pay them some attention, (no matter what you intend), they will want to become closer. Sometimes friendship, sometimes other things. For many, it's the only attention they get.
Kids don't need friends, they need coaches. You can be friendly, but you can't be friends until after they graduate. There is a delicate line there. Some kids can handle that line. Most cannot. Some coaches know where that line is. It’s getting to the point where most new coaches do not. You are supposed to be the adult. They are not. They are still kids, even if they are 18.
Are you prepared to love your players? Not that kind of love; the love you have for a son or daughter. It can't be performance-based acceptance. If that is the case, you won't like them very much, very often. I don't always like how they perform, but I do love them for who they are and what they bring to our team. I see former players on occasion. I give them a hug when I do. There are going to be players that come through your system and they will hate you for whatever reason. I saw a former player recently. She was with her mom. The player did not give me the time of day. The sister talked to me and the mom talked to me, but he player ate her ice cream cone and had this attitude. The mom was surprised, but so goes life. Still love the player. That won't change.
What you stress as a coach, is that they will stress as a player. If you never work on certain things, then don't expect them to be good at it. This goes towards how they act in the classroom, how they take care of grades, how they treat teachers, how they act in the community, and what they do on the field of play.
Develop a philosophy. A lot of coaches will try different things at different time to help make their kids better. Nothing wrong with that. But you can't change your offensive philosophy in the middle of your season. Within your philosophy, you must be able to adapt to what you have as talent. Develop a system that you believe in. If you are wishy washy on your system, what do you think your players will be?
Play who you think ought to be out there. You are not going to please everyone. If you go into coaching thinking that you will, you have already lost your mind. Most parents think that their kid has something to give to the program in playing time. Kids generally know if they are better or not. You will make that call. Own it. If you are wrong, be ready to defend it. If you are right, be ready to defend it, because some people won't be happy no matter what happens.
When you see an athlete develop into the best that they can be, there is nothing like it. Then when you see them after they graduate, to find out how they are doing, and what they are up to is very satisfying.
What are you really teaching your athletes? Win at all costs. Cheat until you get caught. There is a right and wrong way to play every sport. Play the right way. Coach the right way. Follow the rules yourself and teach your athletes same way. Best coaching quote I have heard in a while: a coach was asked if he had done a good job coaching because they had a good season. His answer: "We won't know if we did a good job coaching until about 20 years from now."

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My Year of Competition

12/28/2018

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There’s a long blog post coming up, for which I make no apologies. A year of experiences takes time to explain!

I began competing in racquetball 11 years ago when I entered my first tournament as a novice to find out whether I really did love the sport. Eleven years later, I still do.

Although I have improved steadily over the years, I have never had an opportunity to really train and improve like I wanted to. I knew I was a decent player, but how good was I really? I was also now a coach of athletes, and I was asking them to work and train at a level I had never done myself, at least in racquetball. I knew that if I could do it with my busy lifestyle, anyone could do it.

At the end of 2017, I asked my wife Terra-Leigh whether she would support me training and competing seriously for a year. I wasn't talking about becoming a full-time competitor, of course, but spending more time training and traveling to compete. Something would have to give, and that something was primarily family time.

Competing seriously is something I’ve never been able to do before. Yes, I’ve played in a variety of tournaments over the years, but I’ve done so knowing I haven’t been able to give them my best. Work, family, and a lack of training all affected the outcomes. I hated losing a match, knowing the outcome could and would be different if I had been able to put in the work. I hate losing, but if I lose to a better player than me then I can accept that and work on getting better. But losing to someone you know you could have beaten if you had the time to put in the work… that I really hate.

I was now 38 years old, and I knew that physically the opportunity for becoming my very best was slipping away. No one beats time! I wanted one shot to really play this sport like I knew I could. Terra-Leigh agreed to support me for one year. She’s an amazing woman!

January 1, 2018, began a new me -- someone who was dedicating a large portion of the year to training and competing in racquetball. My life and daily schedule changed completely. With the help of OSU faculty member Melissa Jensen and strength and conditioning coach Chantel Anthony, I developed a nine-month training and competition plan.

I won’t describe the weeks and months of training, other than to say it was lonely and unpleasant. I didn’t have a training partner on or off the court, so the only person who pushed me was me. The gym, court, and yoga studio became regular features in my life. We won’t talk about the planks and wall sits. It was all hard. I can’t really describe how hard it was.

My nutrition changed a lot. I quit alcohol completely. I quit desserts, candy, and chocolate completely. I really mean completely! I tracked my exercise daily. I logged my workouts to set improvement goals. It was an all-or-nothing approach. If my wife was willing to deal with my time away from our family, then the least I could do was take it seriously. In many ways, as an amateur I trained harder and was more dedicated than most professionals. I committed everything to being my best for nine months.

I had a successful year. My training and diet worked, and I improved off and on the court. I challenged myself to play the very best players I could. Some I beat, some I didn’t. But I have no regrets. My fitness improved consistently; so did my power, my speed, and my agility. My weight and body fat percentage came into line. I became living proof that my training program works. If I could do it, so could others.

I challenged myself to play the best, to discover how good I was and how good I could be. For more days than I could count, I trained alone. As I said before, it was hard. But I had goals and one shot to give it my best. And I regret none of it. Did I miss the ice cream, or having a drink, or taking days off, or coming home an hour or two earlier? Yes, I did! But sometimes you have to give up something good for something better.

I finished playing completely in early October, but September was my primary goal. I tracked data three times during the year: January, April, and September. Here’s what I found:

I was never that interested in the actual numbers, but improving each time I measured them. I was interested in the improvement.

As 2018 comes to a close, I asked myself whether I could continue to become better than I am now. Absolutely yes. I’m still improving as a player and learning more and more in every tournament. Having only played in maybe 35 racquetball tournaments in my life, I’m still a novice in the sport. My skills as a player continue to improve faster than my physical attributes decline with age. But the time has come to focus my attention back on my family and on helping others achieve their goals. Continuing with my own athletic goals are unsustainable and unfair to my family. I’m an all-or-nothing kind of guy.

The year 2018 is one I will remember for the rest of my life. I gave everything and pursued my goals relentlessly. I bettered myself in so many ways. So I ask the question: if I can do it, even with a job, family, and many other responsibilities, why can’t you? My year was not based on my skill level, ability, or because I had “talent” and a future in the sport. Rather, it was based on my desire to become my own GOAT. It came down to commitment and discipline and a desire to fulfil my goals.

I have new goals for 2019, but they are professional goals this time. I challenge all of you reading this to set New Year goals and achieve them. Only about 8% of those who set New Year resolutions achieve them. I was part of that number. If you'd like to discuss how this could look for you in the new year, give me a call, send me an email, and let's talk it over!